SUICIDE of LIFE and of ALL REASONING
							
The many big questions I asked -excerpts from the forum below the following paragraph. 
							
 
Robert Schoch made this collage from our picture in 
the coffer and the Eternal Embrace
 of the skeletons they found locked 
together embracing. I got scared when I received this 
picture in an email though due to his comments of being together forever and 
knowing of his mental state. I emotionally ended our 
"partnership/relationship/common-law marriage" when we returned from 
our last 
trip from Egypt in 2007. It was just all too weird, too much and out of control, I was 
afraid. Peru was a disaster,
Bosnia, almost everything I created and negotiated
he took credit for or destroyed. He took from me monetarily and of my private 
personal collections that are very dear to me. I did not realize the underlying truth until I was finally able to step 
away and take a more in-depth view of the entirety of the situation I got myself 
into; the absurd activities just would not stop and the
insane events just kept happening. Kind of like, 
   
"If you are too close to a painting, you 
can't really see it, you need to stand back a bit to get the full perspective." I found help for him here in North Carolina and he went 
to  Blue 
Ridge Grace Hospital for a few days for initial evaluation and from there he was then 
transferred to 
Broughton Hospital. I divorced him a few months later (I spoke with various 
Attorneys up in Attleboro, MA and in NC. I was advised that in Common Law 
Marriages you must still let the other person know you are divorcing otherwise 
you are still "legally" married in some States and Countries. Since he was not 
communicating to me and avoiding all calls and emails, I had to post on the 
internet [this page in fact] so he could read it, or some one else would and 
relay the info to him - that was most disturbing and embarrassing to me). 
I retained robertschoch.net so all incoming links would not be lost and all articles and 
images would be preserved and archived. Robert eventually started 
his new life; he got a new domain site; a new wife to build it for him and life 
goes on. People think Circular Times is his publication, it is not. I have been 
publishing Circular Times since 1995, first in hardcopy, then I went online in 
1996 and then offline in 2002. Robert wanted me to go back online and Steve LeMaster (previous owner of Robertschoch.net) released robertschoch.net into my 
hands in 2005 and I owned it from that initial transfer. I created the 
entire site with 
my articles and others' from 
Circular Times' archives along with some of 
Robert's old files. Robert's files got corrupted in cyber space when Steve broke 
them apart so I had to recreate them 
and start fresh. I hope this settles all of the untruthful statements that have 
been made by Robert Schoch about me on his new site.  
							
 Thank you, Colette
							
 
							Posted by 
							Colette M. Dowell at 06:31, 02 Jun 2007
							 
							
								So, scenario is this. A friend long time close 
								buddy, always depressed, always just in so so 
								mood, you are always picking up the pieces to 
								their life in hopes it will make a difference, 
								you cheer them on everyday, you write positive 
								notes in reply to their negative ones, you give 
								of yourself constantly and rescue, no no no , 
								they try to manipulate you further, guilt trip 
								you, you are not giving enough of your self, but 
								you are giving all you got and you have always, 
								you are burned out from constant emotions that 
								reek of hell and drama and you speak your words 
								of console and take on the extra work to ease 
								the burden of your fried thinking that it will 
								help, years go by, this person claims they have 
								a mental disorder and have all of their life, 
								they have never taken any medication to see if 
								it would work and help them, they say no, they 
								want to do it naturally, of course they fail as 
								they are unable to complete a task, so you 
								change course with them and suggest something 
								else, but they give you their reason why it 
								won't work before they have even tried it, this 
								continues day after day, you are worn out, they 
								beat you down and do not allow you to not take a 
								break with out telling you that you do not care, 
								but they fail to see your daily efforts, you 
								carry their weight and are silent about it, you 
								do not draw attention to their lack of 
								contribution to their own life, they lack the 
								ability to want to care for themselves, then 
								they want you to be like them, they claim you 
								are when you know precisely you are not, they 
								want to die because they feel no love in their 
								life and claim they have always been denied love 
								and have been alone, they do not see color in 
								the world, they can only see black and white, 
								you show them bursting bright reds and yellows 
								and they claim you have shown them nothing, they 
								want to die, and want you to die with them as 
								they are alone in death as well, you try all you 
								can and nothing works, they bathe themselves in 
								sorrow and want to have a sorrow poor me 
								provoking argument of why they are right about 
								not taking medications as it will make them even 
								more depressed and then they might really kill 
								themselves, but they say they will do it anyway 
								if they are not on meds, but they complain and 
								whine and you are looking at them with grief and 
								despair and help help help and your life is then 
								consumed with trying to always salvage something 
								good out of something bad, but, they see no good 
								in anything, and then have a false illusion 
								about them self and turn low self esteem into 
								important grandeur and delusions of grandiose 
								order, you try to get them to see some 
								perspective, they are unwilling as they say 
								change is not capable, you are left with 
								wondering what in the hell am I doing this for 
								as you are never thanked for your efforts. Your 
								battery is drained and all energy is being 
								sucked up by the other just to survive another 
								day to complain and want to die anyway. What do 
								you do? Do you walk away and let the person fend 
								for them self and if they knock them self off 
								well so be it or do you get them committed, is 
								it your right to step in and help when it is 
								their life? If they continually guilt trip you 
								into not leaving or they will die they need you 
								to take care of them but they do not want to 
								care for them self, are you responsive to 
								continue to care for them? Is it spiritually 
								ethical to walk away and put your needs first or 
								is that selfish, or is it selfish of the other 
								person to constantly demand attention even when 
								you have no more to give and what you do give is 
								not acknowledged, what do you do? Is some one 
								taking their own life so bad if they are so 
								miserable anyway and your time and life is spent 
								trying to keep them from not killing themselves? 
								What do you do? DO you let them have free will 
								and use their own judgment as in what they think 
								of their life really is their right to think 
								anyway, so, again, what about the ethics of 
								allowing a person to think that about 
								themselves. If they are truly unhappy and never 
								have joy and no joy is ever welcomed as that 
								means they might be improving and they do not 
								want to improve as it means they no longer get 
								the attention they seek, or is it they are 
								incapable of grasping improvement and what a 
								happy life is with out paranoia and grief, I 
								mean, crap, I could go on and on, but by now I 
								think who ever is reading this is catching my 
								drift I hope. I have many more thoughts, but, I 
								feel I have listed enough to ask the question, 
								what do you do with someone when they constantly 
								want to commit suicide? Do you allow them free 
								will or do you stick them in a Looney bin (oh 
								God I would hate to be in one of those then I 
								would want to die myself) do you take their free 
								will away or do you walk away and leave them 
								with love and light and await the out come? 
								What? I am at a loss here. I am nerved out and 
								feel I need some input from the people I am 
								close to, which is the Grail, I have no others I 
								feel that would understand what I am trying to 
								convey as there is much to do about spirit and 
								souls and karma and free will, co dependency, 
								all of that that we here on the Grail 
								understand. 
								XC
 
							
 
							
What do you do about suicide?  External link to the message board I was 
posting on trying to understand how to deal with all of this I was going 
through. 
							
 
							
I also created a 
page about Death, the text of Kahlil Gibran, from his book "The 
Prophet."
 
							
							 
							
							
							
							
							
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